It was Monday.

9:45 a.m.

I got 3 consecutive text messages from 3 different moms on a field trip with my 9-year-old daughter Josie.

Each contained a photo of her from a slightly different angle.

And each induced a parental urge to get in my Jeep and drive to the local natural science museum, find her, pick her up, and make things better.

But my rational brain knew that by the time I arrived, the moment would have passed.

The terrible, terrible moment.

The one that unfolded after they called for volunteers and all the children nearly burst from wanting to be picked.

And she WAS.

They PICKED HER.

Do you remember this feeling?

It was magic, right?

Getting selected out of the crowd to do something important.

So Josie, thrilled at this opportunity, stood with 2 other 4th grade girls and followed instructions:

“Close your eyes and hold out your hands.”

Y’all.

Those instructions alone foreshadowed a questionable ending, right?

The first object they were handed was a pipe cleaner.

Easy enough.

But then the process was repeated and

OH

GOOD

GRACIOUS

It was a SNAKE!

In these photos her skin is bright red.

Her face is mid-quiver.

She looks completely tortured, the 6-foot snake spread across the hands of 3 girls while the speaker holds it near the head, which is inches from Josie’s terrified face.

She doesn’t want to talk about it.

But she did say that she was somewhere between calm sobs and pure hysteria.

Yes. She rates her emotions. She has so many of them.

And had she known that getting picked would mean holding a snake she would have hidden under her chair.

When she got home, we hugged.

I told her I was proud.

She’s glad the whole thing is over.

So… newsletter creator, here’s the thing:

How do people end up on your subscriber list?

Make sure to set clear expectations.

And, if you’re using some sort of lead magnet, make absolutely sure that it’s so aligned with your newsletter content that wanting one means they’ll actually want the other. Better yet, earn a separate opt in to the newsletter.

I’m not saying your newsletter is the snake in this story.

But I am saying that some emails/newsletters have a way of slithering into my inbox uninvited.

Ashley Guttuso